Title: Navigating Intimacy During a Fertility Journey: Insights from the Know Your Flow Podcast with Andrea Balboni
Host: Stefanie Simpson
Guest: Andrea Balboni, Relationships & Intimacy coach. Founder of Lush Coaching.
Length: ~ 30 minutes
Trying to conceive can place unexpected emotional and physical strain on relationships. From scheduled intimacy to performance pressure and emotional disconnect, many couples find themselves struggling in silence. This conversation brings compassion, honesty, and practical tools to help couples stay connected—both in and out of the bedroom—while navigating fertility challenges.
In This Episode, Stef and Andrea Explore:
How fertility journeys impact intimacy and connection
Why intimacy goes far beyond sex
The importance of communication and emotional vulnerability
How to maintain closeness when sex feels pressured or clinical
Redefining intimacy to reduce stress and anxiety
Creating joy and connection outside of fertility-focused routines
When and how to seek support during challenging seasons
Key Themes from the Episode
1. Understanding Intimacy Beyond the Physical
Andrea, a sex and relationship coach, reframes intimacy as multi-dimensional. While physical connection is important, intimacy also includes:
Emotional closeness
Intellectual connection
Spiritual or energetic bonding
For couples on a fertility journey, expanding this definition can be liberating. When sex becomes scheduled or outcome-focused, nurturing other forms of intimacy can help sustain connection and reduce pressure.
2. Vulnerability and Communication as Foundations
Open communication is a recurring theme throughout the episode. Fertility challenges often bring stress, grief, fear, and anxiety—emotions that can be difficult to name or share.
Andrea emphasizes that finding language for emotions helps partners feel seen and understood. Honest conversations about how each person is coping can strengthen trust and prevent emotional distance.
3. The Power of Non-Sexual Intimacy
When sex starts to feel clinical or stressful, non-sexual touch becomes even more important. Simple, intentional gestures—like holding hands, cuddling, or sitting close—can restore feelings of safety and connection.
Andrea highlights that intimacy isn’t about the act itself, but the intention behind it.
4. Creating Joyful Shared Experiences
Fertility treatments can quickly dominate a couple’s life. Stef and Andrea encourage couples to intentionally create moments of joy and play that have nothing to do with conceiving.
Whether it’s a spontaneous lunch date, a walk together, or revisiting a shared hobby, these experiences help couples reconnect with who they are beyond the fertility journey.
5. Addressing Performance Anxiety
Performance pressure is a common challenge when intimacy becomes goal-oriented. Andrea explains how redefining intimacy—focusing on what feels good rather than what needs to happen—can ease anxiety and restore pleasure.
Letting go of expectations allows intimacy to feel nourishing rather than stressful.
How Fertility Challenges Can Shift Relationship Dynamics
One of the less talked about aspects of fertility journeys is how quickly relationship dynamics can change. Intimacy that once felt spontaneous may become scheduled, goal-oriented, or emotionally charged. Roles can shift too—one partner may become more task-focused while the other carries emotional weight, leading to feelings of imbalance or misunderstanding.
Stef and Andrea highlight that these shifts are normal, but without awareness they can create distance. Acknowledging how fertility impacts both partners differently allows couples to move away from blame and toward compassion. Recognising that each person copes in their own way is an important step in maintaining emotional closeness.
The Importance of Self-Connection in Intimacy
Another key point explored in the episode is the role of self-connection in maintaining intimacy. Andrea explains that it’s difficult to connect deeply with a partner when you feel disconnected from your own body, emotions, or sense of self—something that can happen during fertility treatments.
Practices like self-care, body awareness, and emotional check-ins help individuals stay grounded. When each partner feels more attuned to themselves, they can show up more authentically in the relationship. Intimacy, in this sense, begins with understanding your own needs before communicating them to someone else.
Episode Chapters
00:00 – Introduction to intimacy and fertility journeys
04:45 – Understanding intimacy beyond physicality
10:00 – Navigating performance pressure in relationships
14:59 – The role of communication in intimacy
19:53 – Self-care and its impact on intimacy
24:54 – Seeking support and building resilience
Listen & Subscribe
Listen to Know Your Flow by femme on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts — and don’t forget to subscribe to catch the next episode in Season 3.
When to Seek Support
The episode also normalises seeking external support during fertility challenges. Whether through therapy, coaching, or trusted community spaces, having a place to process emotions can relieve pressure within the relationship itself.
Andrea encourages couples to view support not as a sign of failure, but as an act of care for both the individual and the partnership. Building resilience together often means recognising when you don’t have to do everything alone.
Key Takeaways
Intimacy is more than sex—it includes emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection
Vulnerability and honest communication strengthen relationships during stressful times
Non-sexual touch can maintain closeness when sex feels pressured
Shared joyful experiences help couples reconnect outside of fertility challenges
Redefining intimacy can reduce performance anxiety and increase satisfaction
Final Thoughts
This episode is a compassionate reminder that fertility journeys don’t just affect the body—they affect relationships, identity, and emotional wellbeing. By expanding the definition of intimacy and prioritizing connection in all its forms, couples can protect and even deepen their bond during one of life’s most challenging seasons.
