Menopause and puberty in the same household
An interview between femme and Grace Gordon, founder of FluxxBox
“Absolutely. The ‘perfect storm’ is when a mother is going through perimenopause or menopause at the exact time her daughter is starting puberty. It’s this collision of two intense hormonal life stages, one where your oestrogen levels are dropping, and one where hers are skyrocketing. Imagine mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and sleeplessness… on both sides. It’s not just a challenge for our bodies, but for family relationships too.”
“There are two main reasons. First, puberty is starting earlier than ever. Second, more women are having children later in life. If you had your daughter in your mid-to-late thirties, by the time she’s hitting puberty, you may be entering perimenopause. So while she’s finding her identity and pushing for independence, you’re trying to navigate the emotional and physical changes that menopause brings. It’s a hormonal overlap that’s not just inconvenient, it can feel overwhelming.”
“On a daily basis, it can mean there’s a lot more tension in the house. She’s pulling away because that’s what teens do, she needs to develop her own identity, but at the same time she still needs you as her safe place. Meanwhile, your own hormonal shifts during menopause might make it harder to stay calm, patient, and resilient. You might find yourself snapping more easily, or feeling emotional for no obvious reason. Suddenly there’s a lot more shouting, door slamming, and sometimes even silent standoffs.”
“The first step is awareness. Recognise what’s happening, both in your body and in hers. Notice your triggers and be honest about them. When you feel your stress levels rising, try to pause and take deep breaths. Remind yourself that you’re both riding an emotional rollercoaster.”
“Yes, but with sensitivity. They may be open to talking about it or may not be in the headspace to hear about your experience at the moment. You could say something like, ‘I’m going through menopause right now, and my emotions can be a bit all over the place, kind of like what you’re feeling.’ This normalises hormonal changes and helps her see that emotions are a natural part of our life cycles. It’s about creating space for mutual understanding.”
“Incredibly important. Shared activities create non-confrontational opportunities to connect, where the focus isn't puberty or menopause. Exercise together, cook together, or have those brilliant conversations in the car when you’re not making direct eye contact, those can be surprisingly honest moments.”
Because you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you’re running on fumes, your patience, emotional regulation, and resilience will suffer. During menopause, prioritising good sleep, balanced nutrition, and stress management isn’t indulgence, it’s survival. And your daughter is watching. She learns emotional regulation by seeing you regulate your own.
Exactly. While being in the middle of The Perfect Storm can feel like chaos, it’s also an opportunity for deeper connection. You’re both going through hormonal transformations, just at opposite ends of the spectrum. You can empathise with her on a unique level, because you understand what it’s like to have your hormones driving your emotions. This can make you a more compassionate and insightful guide for her.
That’s why I created FluxxBox, the complete first-period confidence kit. It gives parents a practical, thoughtful way to prepare their daughters for their first period, without the stress of wondering if they’ve covered everything. Menopause can make you feel emotionally and mentally drained, so having a tool that’s ready-made for this milestone can be a lifesaver.
Everything a girl needs to feel confident and prepared, feel-good treats, age appropriate and holistic educational materials, and things to make her feel supported. It’s about giving her the knowledge and tools she needs, so her first period and her cycles are something she understands for life, not something she fears.
Confidence starts with knowledge, and knowledge starts with conversation. Whether we’re talking about puberty or menopause, silence breeds anxiety. When we create open dialogue in our homes, we help our daughters see these changes as normal, healthy parts of life.
Yes, we have a free first-period support quiz designed for parents to take alongside their daughters. It helps you spot the signs that puberty is progressing and estimate when her periods might begin. It only takes five minutes, but it can make a huge difference in feeling prepared. And during menopause, when you’re struggling with things like brain fog, a clear, structured tool can be incredibly reassuring.
Give yourself grace. You’re managing menopause and parenting a child through puberty, and that’s no small feat. Don’t try to be perfect. Focus on connection over perfection. Take breaks when you need them. And remember that both you and your daughter are learning how to navigate big life changes, side by side.
Support for your daughter
If periods are new or still changing, our guide to what periods can tell you about menstrual health is a useful next read. For practical choices, the period care collection and the broader femme Period Chapter give younger readers and parents somewhere sensible to explore without turning every change into a problem.
Follow @fluxxbox on Instagram and visit FluxxBox for first-period resources and support.
Support for you
For the menopause side of the household, the femme Menopause Guide is the broadest starting point. You can then go deeper into nutrition through menopause or the evidence-based options for vaginal dryness and genitourinary symptoms.
Follow @femmehealthstore, explore femme's perimenopause and menopause range, and sign up to the Know Your Flow newsletter for femme’s menopause and women’s health content.
Grace Gordon
Grace Gordon is the founder of FluxxBox and mum to two daughters. After her own fertility struggles, she's on a mission to ensure the next generation has a positive start to their period journey and a lifelong understanding of their amazing bodies.
