femme's book club pick this week is "Big Fat Negative. The essential guide to infertility, IVF and the trials of trying for a baby" which is an honest account of infertility, IVF and other assisted reproductive treatments. By lifting the lid on the process, the authors Emma Haslett and Gabby Griffiths hope to remove some of the shame associated with infertility and support women to feel less alone during their treatment.
Written by femme health
Trying to have a baby should be a joyful (and fun!) experience, but 1 in 7 couples in the UK face difficulties conceiving naturally. The same experiences most people take for granted become part of an ongoing rollercoaster that can last years, and in some cases, may never lead to a baby.
Think about all the images you see or the tales you’ve been told about finding out about a pregnancy. Those two blue lines on a pregnancy test are most often a symbol of joy and new beginnings; the promise of a “normal” family life. But imagine if that test is negative when you were expecting it to be positive, when all the signs were there and you had been actively trying, tracking ovulation and marking the calendar? Now, imagine that the test is negative over and over again, a constant reminder that you’ve failed to do the main thing our bodies are designed to do. Big Fat Negative (or #BFN) is used by the IVF community to talk about negative pregnancy tests and symbolises all the failed hope, grief and anger felt the moment you realise that second blue line won’t appear.
In writing Big Fat Negative, Emma and Gabby have addressed their own experiences with infertility (“You just need to relax more!”) and unpicked some of the unhelpful information surrounding infertility, especially online. Their aim is to give people going through this process honest and accurate advice on everything from the science of fertility to how to maintain friendships along the way. It’s written to make people feel less alone in the moment, to provide a helping hand to those going through the same experiences they did.
This is a must read for those experiencing fertility challenges, a helpful, funny and informative guide to support couples through the journey, whatever the outcome.
Check out our charity partner The Fertility Foundation
For more support check out our Signposting page
